Sometimes a child will tell us about the things that they are worried about and if this relates to significant harm it is referred to as a disclosure. If a child tells you about abuse or neglect:
- Stay calm. Do not transmit shock, anger, embarrassment. The child needs to see that you can handle the information that they are sharing without panicking; they shouldn’t need to worry about you, how you’re feeling or your reaction, on top of what they are themselves experiencing
- Never promise to keep a secret. Remind the child that you can perhaps offer confidentiality in your role, but not keep secrets. Children need to understand that you can’t keep secrets that are harmful to them, as you need to keep them safe from harm.
- Professional curiosity but no leading questions. Find out more if you can, but avoid questions which give a yes/no answer. Try to let the child provide the words and context. Instead of “Did one of your parents hurt your arm?” try “Can you tell me a bit more about what happened to your arm?”
- Check your understanding. Clarify your understanding of what you have heard. Ask them to clarify but don’t make it sound like you’re not believing them
- Reassure and praise the child. Children rarely lie about abuse but they may have tried to tell others and not been heard or believed
- Encourage the child to talk without asking leading questions. Check that you have understood correctly what the child is trying to tell you
- Do not tell the child that what has happened to them is naughty or bad
- Do not comment on the offender; it may be someone they love
- Trauma Informed Practice. Recognise the impact that this will be having on the child’s ability to engage with you and other services, now and in the future. Consider how you can approach this to reduce long term impact on the child. Show that you are trustworthy, offer a safe space, try to work in a collaborative way with the child
- As soon as possible afterwards, make a detailed record of the conversation, including questions you asked. Attach any rough/initial notes to these records
- Talk to your safeguarding lead
Barriers to disclosure
There may be a wide variety of reason why some groups find it harder to disclose abuse, neglect and exploitation to adults. This may include children and young people from the following groups (list is not exhaustive):
- Children with a Disability
- Babies
- Children from black and minority ethnic communities
- Children looked after (in care system)
- Asylum seeking children
- LGBTQ+ children
- Children questioning their gender identity
- Exploited children
- Children with mental health problems
- Children who are home educated
For these and other groups, below is a list of some of the additional barriers they may face to making a disclosure about abuse, neglect or exploitation:
- Communication barriers: this may be linked to disability, developmental age, communication method or English as an additional language. It may also be the opportunity to communicate with safe adults
- Reduced access to information: some groups of children may not have information available in a format/language that they find accessible. It may also be that information is not shared with them as they are assumed to not need the information
- Isolation: there could be many reasons for isolation (physical, social, emotional etc..) this may reduce access but also understanding of ‘norms’ and what is ok / not ok
- Fear of authorities: many groups will have good reason to fear authorities due to past personal, cultural, or other experiences, either personally or in their communities
- Dependency on others – this can make it hard for a child to find time alone with a trusted adult to disclose
- Diagnostic overlay: this is where a medical condition is used as the reason for signs and indicators. This may be an intentional ‘cover-up’ or an assumption made
- Professional’s fear of offending or getting it wrong
- Opportunity to abuse due to inability to defend: this may be due to physical reasons but also due to the exercise of power, control, coercion etc
- Societal views of the group making them easier to target: e.g. ‘no-one would hurt a disabled child’, ‘she was dressing and behaving provocatively, she was asking for it’
- Disguised compliance from parents/carers: this is where parents/carers give the impression of doing all that is asked/expected of them, but only when they are ‘in view’ of others
- Lack of recognition
- Rule of optimism: we want to believe that there’s a reasonable explanation
- Assumptions and myths
- Shame: People may feel shameful about circumstances at home, such as parental substance use, poverty, domestic abuse or disability. It’s important for practitioners to consider differences between intentional abuse and harm caused by adversity.
- Fear of Shame: people may fear bringing ‘shame’ to the family within their community if abuse is disclosed. There may be a fear of increased risk of so-called ‘honour’ based abuse and retribution for sharing
- Community stereotyping e.g., ‘it’s normal in their culture’, ‘that’s standard in X area’
- Professionals as the abusers: this is where abusers find themselves able to be appointed into roles where they have access to vulnerable children, and use that to their advantage
Overcoming barriers to disclosure
- Believe abuse is possible: think the unthinkable and beware of the ‘rule of optimism’
- Be professionally curious
- Voice of the child: find a way to hear their own voice, how do they behave / look etc.
- Know the child and what is life like for them. For that child on a day-to-day basis, would I accept this for my own/friend/relatives’ child?
- Does the explanation make sense? Can you challenge this in a supportive way, asking for clarity?
- Asking 'so what?' E.g., So, what is life like for this child? So, what if I didn’t do anything? So, what if I ignore this? So, what if nothing changes?
- Don't assume, seek to truly understand
- Beware of 'normalising': don’t assume that the ‘norm’ is the ‘right’; is it ok and acceptable; would you accept this for another child, your own child/niece/neighbour?
- Trauma Informed Practice: understanding where the behaviour is coming from and taking care to recognise and respond in a way that supports them to move forward not get stuck in old patterns.
- Engage creatively: think of new ways to engage with the family; don’t put the onus on them to engage with you, it’s your job to engage with them. If your first approach isn’t working, try something new
- Right conversations (with the right people at the right time)