Healthy relationships

What is a healthy relationship?

A healthy relationship means that you feel happy to see and spend time with another person which could be a romantic partner, members of your family, friends, or work mates.

No relationship is ever perfect.

You'll definitely have moments when you disagree. This is perfectly normal.

A healthy relationship includes:

  • commitment;
  • trust;
  • respect;
  • responsibility.

 

Warning signs in a relationship

Being able to tell the difference between healthy, unhealthy and abusive relationships can be more difficult than you would think. Here are some things to look out for.

Is your partner:

  • jealous and possessive?
  • charming one minute and abusive the next?
  • telling you what to wear, where to go, who to see?
  • constantly putting you down?
  • playing mind games and making you doubt your judgment?
  • controlling your money?
  • pressuring you to have sex when you don’t want to?
  • making you feel like you are walking on eggshells to avoid making them angry?
  • monitoring or tracking your movements or messages?
  • using anger and intimidation to frighten and control you?

If you recognise any of this behaviour in your relationship its time to get help. Speak to an adult that you trust like a family member or a teacher. 

 

Is it ok for someone to check your phone without permission?

The beginning of a new relationship can feel really exciting. It’s a special time where you get to know each other and spend quality time together. During this period, you begin building trust and might start thinking about where the relationship can go in the future.

While new relationships feel amazing to some people, for others, it can open insecurities that when left unchecked can become possessive or controlling behaviors. Early signs of dating abuse can include the constant checking of mobile phones, social media accounts, text messages etc, without your permission.

 

Now, you’re probably wondering how is checking someone’s phone without their permission considered a warning sign for dating abuse?

Its about crossing someone’s boundaries.

Looking at their personal property without permission is an invasion of privacy and its actions like these that can slip into unhealthy relationship territory.

Without mutual agreements, a relationship can become one-sided. If your partner doesn't want you to look at their phone or check their social media, that's a boundary you need to accept. They have the right to freedom and space in the relationship, even online!

Respecting your partner’s boundaries is a good start to a healthy relationship. Trusting your partner is the key to success. Relationships are built on trust but we can forget this.

If you constantly worry about who your partner is talking to when you’re not around, chances are there are some trust issues within your relationship.

 

Are you afraid of disagreeing with your partner?

Partners should always feel safe to have their own opinions, even when this means they disagree. If your partner responds to your (different) viewpoint with dismissal, contempt, or other rudeness, this often suggests they don’t respect you or your ideas.

If you find that you are afraid of speaking your mind and giving your opinions because you worry about their reaction, or feel like you’re “walking on eggshells” every day,  it may be time to seek professional help.

A healthy relationship is when two people:

  • trust each other
  • are equal
  • and trust one another and
  • can talk openly.

 

A healthy relationship should include:

  • Communication
  • Compromise 
  • Commitment.

Complete the quiz to see if your relationship is healthy.

 

Further Information

Respect - Work with domestic abuse perpetrators, male victims and young people who use violence and abuse

To find out more about healthy relationships see The Hideout.

If you’re experiencing abuse and need to speak to someone see Womans Aid.

Advise on abusives relationship - Disrespect Nobody

Should I worried about my partner's behaviour?

Reporting domestic abuse