Using your questions as your interventions
In our recent practitioner survey, we asked what most accurately describes professional curiosity to you. Resoundingly, the answer came back as ‘being able to ask sensitive questions!’
In response to your feedback, members for our LSCP Practitioner Group felt very strongly that, when we were creating this resource, we must include some thoughts on what best practice should look like when there are difficult and sensitive questions to ask.
Below are some suggestions. This is a starting point, to launch your conversation but, as always, we would be keen to hear if you think we’ve missed anything important.
1. Preparation and Clarity
- Know what you want to ask
- Do your research
- Consider the context
- Frame the question effectively
Have a clear understanding of the specific question you want to ask and what information you're seeking.
If possible, gather background information to better understand the situation and the potential answers.
Think about the setting, your relationship with the person you're asking, and how the question might be perceived.
Avoid accusatory or judgmental language. Instead, focus on seeking information or understanding
2. Expressing empathy and respect
- Acknowledge the difficulty: Use phrases like "This is a difficult question, but..." or "I understand this might be uncomfortable, but..." to show you recognize the potential challenge
- Be respectful: Avoid language that could be perceived as aggressive or confrontational
- Listen actively: Pay close attention to the response, even if it's not what you expected. Show that you value their perspective
3. Managing the conversation
- Be prepared for various responses
- Don't interrupt
- Be open to feedback
- Consider using "I" statements
Understand that the answer might not be what you hoped for, or it might lead to further discussion.
Allow the person to fully express their thoughts and feelings.
If the question is difficult to answer, be open to the possibility of revisiting the topic or adjusting your approach.
This can help to express your perspective without placing blame or judgment.
4. Specific techniques
- Start with a gentle approach: Instead of directly asking the difficult question, you can start with a related question or a statement of curiosity
- Use open-ended questions: These questions encourage more detailed and nuanced answers than closed-ended questions.
- Be prepared to ask follow-up questions
- Consider the timing and setting: Probing questions can help clarify the answer and ensure you understand the other person's perspective.
Choose an appropriate time and place to ask the question, ensuring privacy and minimizing distractions.
By following these guidelines, you can navigate difficult questions with greater confidence and achieve more productive conversations.
Tell, Explain, Describe (TED)
Practitioners tell us that having a structure to work within, when asking difficult questions, can be really helpful. Particularly, we’ve been asked to share the ‘Tell, Explain, Describe (TED) model. This model provides practitioners with powerful, open-ended question starters, which can be used in conversations with families, in supervision and to frame investigations and reviews. TED questions encourage detailed, narrative answers, beyond simple "yes/no" responses, to help you build your understanding, uncover needs, foster empathy, and create a safe space for sharing deeper insights and stories.
What they are:
- Tell: Invites a broad story or perspective, e.g., ‘Tell me about your what’s been happening for you recently’?
- Explain: Asks for clarification, specifics, or the "how/why" behind something, e.g., ‘Explain how the support you had was helpful’?
- Describe: Prompts a vivid, detailed account, painting a clearer picture, e.g., ‘Describe what would help you to make things better?
Why use them:
- Deepens understanding: Gets to the heart of issues, goals, or feelings.
- Builds rapport: Shows genuine interest and creates a safe space.
- Uncovers insights: Helps identify hidden needs, challenges, or strengths.
- Promotes self-reflection: Encourages the speaker to think more expansively.
When to use them:
- Family contacts: To understand complex situations.
- Supervision: To help supervisees explore solutions and build awareness.
- In challenging situation: To understand the other person’s perspective and needs.
- Investigations: To gather detailed accounts of interventions
As always, we’d love your feedback on how this works for you in practice.