Using your questions as your interventions
In our recent practitioner survey, we asked what most accurately describes professional curiosity to you. Resoundingly, the answer came back as ‘being able to ask sensitive questions!’
In response to your feedback, members for our LSCP Practitioner Group felt very strongly that, when we were creating this resource, we must include some thoughts on what best practice should look like when there are difficult and sensitive questions to ask.
Below are some suggestions. This is a starting point, to launch your conversation but, as always, we would be keen to hear if you think we’ve missed anything important.
1. Preparation and Clarity
- Know what you want to ask
- Do your research
- Consider the context
- Frame the question effectively
Have a clear understanding of the specific question you want to ask and what information you're seeking.
If possible, gather background information to better understand the situation and the potential answers.
Think about the setting, your relationship with the person you're asking, and how the question might be perceived.
Avoid accusatory or judgmental language. Instead, focus on seeking information or understanding
2. Expressing empathy and respect
- Acknowledge the difficulty: Use phrases like "This is a difficult question, but..." or "I understand this might be uncomfortable, but..." to show you recognize the potential challenge
- Be respectful: Avoid language that could be perceived as aggressive or confrontational
- Listen actively: Pay close attention to the response, even if it's not what you expected. Show that you value their perspective
3. Managing the conversation
- Be prepared for various responses
- Don't interrupt
- Be open to feedback
- Consider using "I" statements
Understand that the answer might not be what you hoped for, or it might lead to further discussion.
Allow the person to fully express their thoughts and feelings.
If the question is difficult to answer, be open to the possibility of revisiting the topic or adjusting your approach.
This can help to express your perspective without placing blame or judgment.
4. Specific techniques
- Start with a gentle approach: Instead of directly asking the difficult question, you can start with a related question or a statement of curiosity
- Use open-ended questions: These questions encourage more detailed and nuanced answers than closed-ended questions.
- Be prepared to ask follow-up questions
- Consider the timing and setting: Probing questions can help clarify the answer and ensure you understand the other person's perspective.
Choose an appropriate time and place to ask the question, ensuring privacy and minimizing distractions.
By following these guidelines, you can navigate difficult questions with greater confidence and achieve more productive conversations.
Tell, Explain, Describe (TED)
Practitioners tell us that having a structure to work within, when asking difficult questions, can be really helpful. Particularly, we’ve been asked to share the ‘Tell, Explain, Describe (TED) model. This model provides practitioners with powerful, open-ended question starters, which can be used in conversations with families, in supervision and to frame investigations and reviews. TED questions encourage detailed, narrative answers, beyond simple "yes/no" responses, to help you build your understanding, uncover needs, foster empathy, and create a safe space for sharing deeper insights and stories.
What they are:
- Tell: Invites a broad story or perspective, e.g., ‘Tell me about your what’s been happening for you recently’?
- Explain: Asks for clarification, specifics, or the "how/why" behind something, e.g., ‘Explain how the support you had was helpful’?
- Describe: Prompts a vivid, detailed account, painting a clearer picture, e.g., ‘Describe what would help you to make things better?
Why use them:
- Deepens understanding: Gets to the heart of issues, goals, or feelings.
- Builds rapport: Shows genuine interest and creates a safe space.
- Uncovers insights: Helps identify hidden needs, challenges, or strengths.
- Promotes self-reflection: Encourages the speaker to think more expansively.
When to use them:
- Family contacts: To understand complex situations.
- Supervision: To help supervisees explore solutions and build awareness.
- In challenging situation: To understand the other person’s perspective and needs.
Recognising Protective Factors
Recognising protective factors is the first step to making a direct connection between what those factors are, and both why they are important and how they can help us to achieve improved outcomes for children and young people.
Family/Home life:
- Are children living with loving, attuned and supportive primary caregiver/s? Who are they?
- Which aspects of their lives provide stability?
- Do they have any predictable routines? Which routines are they, and which similar routines could be used to give a foundation to other aspects of their lives?
- What is their housing like? If they have their own space, what is it about that space that they like and how can that be protected?
- Which of their basic needs are being met, by whom, and how is this helping them to feel safe and cared for?
- What positive, developmentally attuned parenting techniques have you seen in the family, and could similar techniques be used to give a foundation to other aspects of their lives?
- Who in their extended family is important to them, and why?
- Is there anyone in their immediate or extended family who they talk to openly about their feelings and problems. What could be done to give them more opportunity to get support from this person?
- What is the family’s financial situation? Are there any sources of income which it’s important to protect?
Community and Environment
- Who or what in their school life makes them feel safe and positive about their school experience?
- Who or what in their local community do they feel is important in helping them to keep safe and secure? How could they be enabled to access that support more easily?
- What access do they have to green and play spaces? What could be done to help them use those spaces more easily or more often?
- What opportunities do they have for sports, creativity and hobbies? What could be done to help them engage in those activities more easily or more often?
- Do they have a connection to at least one safe, stable, supportive adult outside the family. Who is that with, and why is it important to them?
- Do they have opportunities to make a contribution to others? What are those opportunities, and could they use the experience of taking those opportunities and transfer that to other situations?
- What gives them a sense of being part of their community? What could be done to help them feel more involved?
- What access do they have to supportive services? What could be done to improve that access?
- What economic opportunities are open to them? What could be done to protect and enhance those opportunities?
Relational and Social
- Do they have to least one strong friendship. Who is that with, and why is it important to them?
- Do they have group of friends of peers they feel a particular sense of belonging to, which is seen as having a positive influence on their life? What could be done to support them to develop positive peer/group relationships?
- How effectively does your work with the child meaningfully and effectively consider their cultural or faith identity? What more could be done to ensure this is achieved?
- What does the child think is important about themselves? What could be done to help them explore this a bit more?
- Has the option of emotion coaching and modelling been shared with them? Is that something they think would be helpful?
Enjoyment and Aspiration
- What do they want to achieve in their lives? What could be done to help them achieve it
- What new skills would they like to learn and develop? What opportunities and support could help them?
- When, how and what do they like to play to enjoy themselves? What could be done to help them play more easily and more often?
- To what extent are children’s successes recognised and praised? What work could be undertaken with immediate and extended family to enable them to see the value of praise and to help them identify opportunities to praise the children in their lives?
- How well do the child manage problems they encounter? What skills could they be encouraged to use to help them problem solve more easily and more often?
- What social roles do they have the opportunity to take on? What could be done to support them to take on such a role eg a peer mentor in school, a volunteer in a club, a member of the youth parliament…
- What opportunities do they have for physical and creative expression? What could be done to help them engage in those activities more easily or more often?
- Do they have a connection to at least one positive role model? Who is that and how has that relationship developed? What could be done to help that person support the child to achieve their full potential?
Working with the child to build on their protective factors is the foundation to creating effective and meaningful trauma informed, strengths based support plans which can really make a difference to a child’s life.
… and this isn’t a finished list! We’d be really keen to hear of other protective factors you’ve identified in your work with children, and the questions you’ve found helpful in allowing you to explore those in more detail. Do let us know…